I am female, not woman----Life, love and war
"Responsibility should strike fire from the hearts of men, and bring tears from the eyes of women"
Most people have questioned the entities of a woman – who they are, what they do and where they fit in the society. Others just think of women as second class human beings whose responsibilities are only limited to the kitchens and reproducing and nurturing babies.
Being a woman is not a death sentence neither is it a jinx; there’s more to 'womanism' that needs to be explored and further outgrow their limitations as perceived by others.
Some females lack the patience and work dedication to make things happen because they have accepted the vulnerability tag associated with women.
Some too are wrongfully agitating for a place in the society while they already have a place.
Who is a woman in the first place?
According to Aristotle, a woman is "anyone" who has lost a quality of a man. Should females outrightly accept this definition? It is no fault of Aristotle because the world was created a patriarchal one.
In the definition provided above however, the great philosopher did not mention gender. He used "anyone" which is a neuter gender.
This means that a male can be a woman when he loses a quality of a man.
Therefore, there is no cause for a female to feel like a woman – according to the definition – if she can perform as a man.
Man and Woman are social constructs - thus society determines who a man should be and who a woman should be likewise.
The society in which one finds himself defines the responsibility that ought to be taken with regards to being a man or a woman.
Let us consider the short story of a lady known as Kuukua
Kuukua's 'manhood'
Kuukua is a 46 year old female who lives in a rented apartment at East Legon. She is the regional Risk Manager for the Ghana Investment Bank.
Her three children give her additional responsibilities amidst her busy schedules at work since she is a divorced woman – single-handedly catering for them.
The first, Boahemaa, is a 22 year old final year biomedical student in the Kwame Nkrumah University Science and Technology, Kumasi. She was born shortly after her parents had graduated from school.
As a very young lady, Kuukua found it very challenging carrying the pregnancy just at the moment national service was due.
She thought of doing the unspeakable since the pregnancy was a threat to her career.
That could have at least given her the opportunity to pursue her desired career path as an actuary. However, she was prevented by her grandmother who promised help in her delivery and the upkeep of the baby.
Boahemaa did not come at the right time at all. Kuukua had to defer national service for a year for delivery. Thanks to her grandmother who in any case supported her with weaning the child after she was born.
Obeng, Kuukua’s “first love” who was responsible for the pregnancy took off heels and was not seen again – coward!!!
Her grandmother helped her to get back unto her feet after the miraculous disappearance of Obeng.
Years after, when she had got herself a job as a procurement officer in a subsidiary supermarket of an oil company, she met another lousy guy who wanted to marry her.
They got married and had two children, a boy and a girl, after which they got divorced. Kuukua since then has been single-handedly taking care of her children because help was not coming from any source.
Now, the second child, Kwekudua is 18 years old and has just started an undergraduate degree programme in law at the University of Ghana, Legon.
Serwaah, the most adorable and smart 12 year old girl is the last of the children and in the Junior High School.
Can Kuukua be described as a woman when she has been manning the responsibilities of a man? No!!!
In any case, Kuukua can be spared of being a woman because she has been exhibiting more than what society sees to be the responsibility of a woman.
She has been exercising her authority over her children, teaching them right from wrong, paying their school fees, hospital bills and other charges – a responsibility supposedly reserved for men.
Women are created by society, they are not born. The fact that you were born a female does not necessarily mean you are a woman. Being female is genetic or biological – nothing can be done to change that. However, being a man or a woman is determined by how you carry yourself and the responsibilities you take.
Therefore, if you are a male and do not take up your responsibility as society dictates, you cease to become a man.
So will a female who takes up responsibilities that are seen by society as masculine becomes a man.
You can be a female but not a woman.
Get inspired and stop agitating for a place in the society for you already have one.
Till next time, this is from the mind's mind.
Any name whatsoever used in this piece, except names of institutions, does not refer to any specific person. They are imaginary names employed by the writer.